Summaries of Suffering,

A MiST from Ciircee and Chelle-sama,

Done in the fine style of CardCaptor Schlueter (aka Syaoran-kun)

Disclaimer/legal issues: We don't own MST3K, Card Captor Sakura, CardCaptor Schlueter (aka Syaoran-kun), or any of the stories, summaries or authors herein. We have not read any of the stories which have summaries listed here. Think of it as C&C on how to write a decent summary. And for goodness sake, check out Schlueter's MiSTs. Go, damn it, go now!

It's the not-too-distant future,

at about Four-thirty A.M.

There was this group of teenagers

Trapped out in Space and in the Sea

Their families thought they should get them back

But they walked into Hiiragizawa's trap

They tried to ground Evil Eriol,

But he escaped into his hideout

And he locked them in his house!!!!

All: (Let us Out!)

We'll send them crappy summaries

The worst we can find (lalala)

They'll have to sit and read them all and we'll monitor their minds (lalala)

Now keep in mind they can't control

When the summaries begin or end (lalala)

Because Grandfather used those special parts

To order pizza in!

CARD CAPTOR ROLL CALL:

Fujitaka:

Sakura-san!

Terada:

Everybody take their seats!

Grandfather:

Don't you boys touch my granddaughter!

Sonooooomi!!!

When I get out of here...

If you’re wondering how they eat and breathe

And other science facts (lalala)

Then repeat to yourself

*They're still in Tomoeda!*

You should really just relax

For Card Captor Science Theater 3000!!!

@$^%!

The Family Room of Decidedly Warm Feelings
04:45 Hours

"I can't believe the nerve of that little brat!" Daidouji Sonomi was pacing the confining limits of the family room in her recently-acquired prison. "First he kidnaps our children so that he can launch them into space and torment them, then he kidnaps their friends, and now this!"

Kinomoto Fujitaka scratched one ear and smiled affably. "Well, Clow had issues." Sonomi snorted and Fujitaka shrugged.

"Personally, I think it's great." Terada offered from the window seat. "We've got a great view of Tomoeda, a huge house to roam around it and Amamiya-san even managed to order out for food." Smiling, the young teacher surveyed the room. "Sure, we've only got one chair in here but at least we've got a fireplace."

"Is this one of those let's-all-look-on-the-bright-side moments?" Amamiya Masaki grumbled. "'Cause I'm not getting out of this chair until the okonomiyaki gets here and even when I do get up, none of you is getting my chair." He tapped the floor with his cane. "Get over here so I can poke you all in the chest and make sure you understand me."

Sonomi rolled her eyes at Fujitaka. "Yes, Grandfather."

"And what the hell is that blinking light?" He slapped it with the crook of his cane. "Damn thing has been blinking since we got here."

&#@!*

Deep 13

"It's about time." Hiiragizawa Eriol snapped as the view screen opened on his living room. The four trapped adults leaned close to their screen. "I've been paging you forever. I thought one of you geezers must have had a heart attack." He leaned back in his chair and steepled his fingers. "Now that I can see you're all alive, how about you show me your summary experiment for this week?"

TV's Ruby Moon cleared her throat. "Uh, Dr. H...they don't know about the experiment exchange. We locked them in the house because we didn't know what else to do with them. Remember? They've only been up there for twenty minutes."

"Right." A vein in Eriol's forehead throbbed. "Listen, lab-rats, I'm running experiments and trying to drive two groups of teenagers nuts so that I can take over the world. Every week we do an exchange. Your job is to come up with lame, clichéd story summaries of three lines or less; got it?"

$+@?&

The Family Room of Decidedly Warm Feelings

"Ohhhhh."

Fujitaka poked at the hex-screen that had opened above the fireplace. "Couldn't you just release us and the kids instead, Eriol-kun?"

"No." Eriol snapped at him and Fujitaka noted that a second vein had taken up tempo. "And you may call me either 'Dr. Hiiragizawa' or 'Master'."

Sonomi folder her arms. "I own this town. You let me the hell out of here so I can wring your scrawny little neck, geek boy."

"Hiiragizawa-san, I'm sure we can all work something out." Terada said sensibly. "It seems to me that you don't really want to take over the world. What you need, what you're really seeking is a nice, warm..."

%@!

Deep 13

"You'd better say 'valium' Sensei." Eriol warned, glaring.

"Hug." The man finished. "Why don't you let us into...wherever you are and we can all talk?"

"Do you think that's how he became involved with Rika-chan?" Ruby Moon mused with a giggle. "You look really frustrated with that History paper; why don't I give you a nice, big..."

$)#*~^

The Family Room of Decidedly Warm Feelings

"Are you dating a student, boy?" Amamiya scowled at Fujitaka.

Fujitaka threw his hands up. "No! I haven't dated a student since I married Nadeshiko-san!" He pointed at Terada. "He's the one dating a twelve-year old!"

"She's sixteen!"

"She was twelve when you started!"

"She was ten!"

"What have I told you about dating my granddaughter!" Amamiya advanced on Fujitaka threateningly. "I said 'stay away', didn't I! Didn't I? You granddaughter stealing bastard!"

"Grandfather, you forgave him for that ages ago." Sonomi reminded him as she settled into the chair. "You told him that you approved of him."

"That was now and this is then!" He shouted. "He'll pay for what he's done to my...what do you want?" he asked as Eriol flipped a switch and plunged the house into darkness.

"*Ahem* " Eriol said with a glare as he turned the lights back on, "As I was saying, your job is to read the summaries and write your own."

Sonomi's eyes narrowed. "You're just getting us to do your dirty work for you, aren't you?"

Eriol shrugged. "I'm a busy man."

)#@!

Deep 13

"He's had daily appointments with his therapist to 'release his inner-child'." Spinel Sun muttered. "He has finger painting on his schedule today."

"Send them the summaries and shut up, Spinel." Eriol growled.

"But that's my job!" Ruby Moon gasped. "Eriol, don't you love me anymore?"

He twitched. "Just send them the summaries."

&^%*

The Family Room of Decidedly Warm Feelings

(Suddenly sirens and alarms rang out.)

"The carbon-monoxide alarms!" Terada shrieked. "Oh my god, we're all gonna die!" He hit the hex screen. "Hiiragizawa-san, let us out! We're slowly being poisoned! Help! Oh, I feel faint! Call the paramedics! Air! Help!"

On the screen, Eriol buried his head in his hands. "It's the 'Summary Sign'. It means you're supposed to shout 'oh, we've got summary-sign' and run to the theater."

"And the theater is..." Fujitaka gestured vaguely.

Eriol folded both arms over his head and groaned. "Down the hall, third door on the left. It's right across from the bathroom."

"Oh, we've got summary sign." Sonomi muttered dryly as they filed out of the family room and into the hall.

Door six: It's a map of the house, showing the way to the theater; you fold it and shove it in your pocket.

Door five: It's a meadow filled with sunflowers and daisies. You skip your way through it.

Door four: It's a tiny door with 'eat me' /'drink me' signs next to a glass and a muffin. You eat the muffin, become gigantic and kick down the door.

Door three: It's a music recital; you sit through four renditions of 'Tomoyo's theme' done by talent-less kids on the recorder, you applaud and leave for...

Door Two: Is a wall of 'CardCaptors' tapes. You set fire to them and calmly walk through the door to their left. Stinking Cardcaptors.

Door One: It's the Sakura Cards; you hurriedly shove them into their book.

Door Seven: You're confronted with a plain, wooden door that opens as you reach it.

Fujitaka, Terada, Grandfather and Sonomi fight over seats in the theater until Grandfather refuses to let her sit by the boys and puts her in the aisle seat.

>plz give me suggestions in the review for da title by Mei-Hua

Grandfather: Learn to spell.

Fujitaka: How 'bout 'The Really Bad Fanfic that I'm About to Spring on You'?

>Xiaolang leaves H.K to get da cards frm sakura. as soon as he realizes dat he is in luv wit her, sumtin tragic happens and >long ago, he made a promise dat she wuld be da first to know. so he is alone to rescue sakura plz R+R!! thanx. hehe.dis >will take a

Terada: Dear, sweet, baby Confucius! I've never, ever seen the rules of spelling so thoroughly mutilated.

Sonomoi: (Valley Girl) What-ever! It's, like, 'who da man'! And dat's kool, okay!

Grandfather: Don't make me talk to your father about your behavior.

Terada: (studying a pad of paper) You know, I've run through this twice and even taking the spelling into consideration, this summary is still incoherent.

>It seems... by PaJamas

Fujitaka: It seems...it seems.... Crap. Line?

Sonomi: (singing) Bananas, in Pajamas...

>First day back to school, what's gonna happen?

Terada: Roll call! And then I make 'em turn in their end-of-holiday homework. They don't get lunch period to work on it, not in my class. Fair is fair; they had months to slog through all the nonsense assignments and make-work I foisted off on them!

Fujitaka: My classes will pass around weed and fall asleep.

Grandfather: Hmph. It seems... boring. What else is there? Dang it, girl, change the channel!

>Voices by ConfusedChild aka - DaLilMoomba

Grandfather: I don't think this is any better. In my Seniors-Group it's always the ones hearing voices that get sent to the Home first.

>Ha!

Sonomi: I kill me!

>dun read this.

Terada: Okay, we won't.

>i dun even know y i post it....i wuz high and there r only 2 characters n dis story. dun read, dun reveiw.....(oh what the heck >do what u want)

Fujitaka: That's what my classes are like! Just like that!

Grandfather: What's this kid's deal with tan? It's 'dun' this and 'dun' that.

Sonomi: Maybe he meant 'dung'. ConfusedChild obviously can't spell because he's confused.

Fujitaka: Well, he's stoned, what do you expect?

>and as always flames will be handled in me own way...

Grandfather: Aye, me mateys! I'll be using the flames to light me room so's that I can learn to spell.

>hehehehe

Terada: (as the author) Hehehehe, I'm so naughty....

>A Thongful ending by Daidouji sama

Sonomi: I would like to point out that I did not write this.

Grandfather: (prods her with his cane) What have I said about dirty talk?

Sonomi: (sighing) Yes, Grandfather.

>he he he he

Fujitaka: (as the author) I'm so naughty...

>Take one screwed up author, a bowl of sugar,

Sonomi: Hit the author with the sugar-bowl, then clean up the mess and dispose of the body...

Fujitaka: I don't know why some people think it's cool to say 'I ate a bowl of sugar WHEE' when it's quite apparent that they just don't know how to write. Have you ever tried to eat a 'bowl' of sugar? Even Kero-kun got sick of it after four or five spoonfuls.

Grandfather: Kids are dumb.

>loud music at 5:30 am, A NEW CHAPTER and what do you get? THIS STORY!!!!

Terada: I was going to say 'crap', but I guess if you think 'this story' is a better fit...

>Lead Me To You by Geo

Sonomi: (singing) I will follow you....wherever you may go...

Terada and Fujitaka: (singing) I love him...I love him...I love him

>The sequel to DANGEROUS RIVALS. Well, if I give a summary, it will ruin DANGEORUS RIVALS for those of you who >haven't read it.

Terada: I think reading it might ruin it anyway.

>Haven't read DR?

Grandfather: We HAVEN'T. And WE don't WANT to.

>Read it and come back to read this one! ^-^

Fujitaka: O_O

Somomi: ~.^

Terada: o.O`

Grandfather: >.<

>Kinomoto's Angel by touya-mou

Fujitaka: I would like to point out that Touya did not write this.

Grandfather: Kinomoto's angel was mine first! (hits Fujitaka with the cane) You granddaughter stealing bastard!

>Someone new is in Tomoeda and she looks exactly like Sakura and Touya's mom.

Sonomi: It's Tomoyo. She's always resembled Nadeshiko.

>Is she really Nadeshiko? If yes, is she there to be Sakura's angel or Touya's angel?

Terada: Oh, come on! If it really is Nadeshiko-san and she really is an angel, I would think that she could watch over more than one kid at a time.

>Is she there to protect or cause mayhem?

Sonomi: Well, she'd want to 'protect'; but knowing Nadeshiko it's going to be 'mayhem'-- but it wouldn't be her fault.

*CHAP. 2 IS UP! S+S 2GETHER AGAIN!*(R&R please!!!)

Grandfather: S+S, R&R...what's up with all this secret code jargon? Damn kids.

>You Must Believe by Xiaolang sama

Terada: I'd like to point out that Li Syaoran's work has always been exemplary and I don't believe he wrote this.

Fujitaka: (leaning across Grandfather to grab Sonomi) Darling, you must believe!

Sonomi: (sobbing) I can't! I can't believe it's not butter!

Grandfather: Our dramatic re-enactment/product placement. Thank you! And get your hands off my granddaughter! Sonomi-chan, you slap him next time he touches you, hear?

>Corny title, I know.

Sonomi: If you already knew, then why did you use it?

>Well, Sakura's a bitter, cynical teenager who doesn't believe in love.

Terada: No, no, no. That's Naoko-san you're looking at. Sakura-san sits near the window.

>Can the new student change the way she thinks about relationships?

Fujitaka: Probably not. She's too much like her mother, and she's a mayhem-causing, possibly-older-brother-favoring, maybe-not-quite-an-angel.

>The Golden Staff by GoldenDreams

Grandfather: I don't like the looks of that title. Dang hentai. Somebody change that.

>Sakura gets a new student in her class and his name is Arie who turns out to be a powerful sorcerror!But a mysterious staff >for Sakura Read and Review

Fujitaka: (shoots to his feet) The HELL he has a staff for Sakura-san!

Sonomi: It's not for Sakura-chan. It's for Sakura Read and Review.

Fujitaka: That's better. (sits down again)

Terada: I'm SO sick of new students. Most classes have a nice, manageable twenty. Me, I've got seventy kids and another three on the way. I get new students like Hinata Inn gets new girls. Only mine aren't pretty.

>My One and Only(New and Improved) by KeroSuppi

Fujitaka: (booming announcer voice) New and Improved! Better tasting and better for you than ever!

Terada: (in an undertone) Does not apply to this product.

Sonomi: (undertone) Illegal in most countries

>Sakura has a dream that Jessy steals her boyfriend but it comes true.

Grandfather: Unless she really hates her boyfriend, I'd use 'nightmare' instead of 'dream'.

>Jessy doesn't care if their friendship brakes

All: (mime driving cars)

Fujitaka, Terada, and Sonomi: SCREEEEEECHHHHH!

Grandfather: Neeerrrrrooooooooooom! Thud-thud-squish! Bwa-ha-ha!

Sonomi: Grandfather! You know you're on probation.

Grandfather: I still have a license in Florida.

>and Sakura soon has to go away to America

Fujitaka: Of course. America. That'll solve all her problems. Leaving home and family because her friend is a hussy. Yeah, that always works.

Terada: Why is it always America? She doesn't know that much English.

>. At the end will Sakura and Syaoran be together? Read and find out! *CHAPTER 11 IS UP*

Terada: I'd say 'no'. Li-san's mother expects him home in Hong Kong whenever school is out.

>Little Cherry by CherryBlossom
>Syaoran had a terrible accident so Sakura helps him to get better, but what would happen if Sakura looses her memory and >fall in love with another guy?

Fujitaka: Wait...wait a second...

Sonomi: Grandfather runs over Syaoran and it's Sakura who loses her memory?

Terada: What? Sakura helps him get better by losing her memory? What?

>Please read and R+R. Thanku to all da people who reviewed! Thanx Erwin for helping me!CHAPTER 5 IS UP!

Fujitaka: I'm going to hope you don't mean 'helped with the spelling.'

Grandfather: Erwin, next time, help Cherry Blossom to find a better way of phrasing things. Or a better plot device.

Sonomi: Thank you.

(The Doorbell Rings)

Grandfather: It's about time!

@$&!

The Entrance Hall of Lukewarm Partiality

"You're late!" Grandather peered out the mail slot, arguing with the girl who was delivering their food. "I want a discount. And hand it over! It's getting cold! I'll call your manager, chibi-chan!"

Outside the Hiiragizawa mansion, Kuonji Ukyou sighed and tapped her spatula against her hand. "I am my manager. Look, it's not going to fit through the mail slot. Just open the door."

"We can't!" Terada said, again, from the window next to the door. "We're locked in. Just slide the oknomiyaki under the door or something."

Sonomi shoved him out of the way. "Forget the food, just call an electrician, a locksmith and a demolition expert."

Ukyou shook her head. "No way! The longer I sit here delivering your food the more time Akane has with my Ran-chan." She pointed with her spatula for emphasis.

Grandfather attempted to poke her through the mail slot. "Give me the food first, chibi-chan. I'm telling you, it's a magic door. The mail slot will enlarge to fit the dang box. Give over, harridan."

"It's all about belief!" Terada agreed happily from the floor. "You know, like 'clap your hands if you believe in fairies'."

Grandfather hit Terada with the cane before sliding it back out of the door and attempting to poke the poor, beleaguered delivery girl again. "Give us the food! You're late anyway. Thirty-minutes or it's free, dang it!"

Ukyou glared but shoved the food through the mail slot. "Alright, geezer, you've got your food now open the door and pay up." Fujitaka slipped the bills under the door and she arched an eyebrow. "Tip?"

"Our kids are trapped in space, are you sure you won't help us? I'll make the tip fifteen percent instead of ten if you do." Fujitaka said in his most cheerful, innocent voice.

"And my fiancée is stuck under the ocean with the biggest liar Tomoeda has ever seen!" Terada agreed from his position.

"I've got bigger problems." Ukyou said. "I'm stuck in Mike Rhea fics! Sure, it sounded like a good deal at the time; Akane's out of the picture as the un-cute tomboy she is and I'm in--cross-dressing and all! I signed a contract for goodness sake!"

Everybody winced. "Sorry, I had no idea." Fujitaka muttered, slipping her a twenty-percent tip. "Buy yourself something nice..."

Suddenly alarms and sirens rang out, causing Terada to jump and yelp. "Fire! The smoke alarms are going off! Fire! Help!"

"Settle down, boy. It's that darned 'summations sign'." Grandfather slapped the back of his head none-too-gently.

Sonomi glared. "This bites."

*%^#

Door six: It's a map of the house, showing the way to the theater; you fold it and shove it in your pocket.

Door five: It's a meadow filled with sunflowers and daisies. You skip your way through it.

Door four: It's a tiny door with 'eat me' /'drink me' signs next to a glass and a muffin. You eat the muffin, become gigantic and kick down the door.

Door three: It's a music recital; you sit through four renditions of 'Tomoyo's theme' done by talent-less kids on the recorder, you applaud and leave for...

Door Two: Is a wall of 'CardCaptors' tapes. You set fire to them and calmly walk through the door to their left. Stinking Cardcaptors.

Door One: It's the Sakura Cards; you hurriedly shove them into their book.

Door Seven: You're confronted with a plain, wooden door that opens as you reach it.

The scuffle for seats begins again, everybody wanting to sit next to Grandfather and the food. Terada loses and has to sit on the far end.

>The Clue Underground by Clowcardmastress

Sonomi: I think you want 'mistress', honey. Or 'master'. Unless you have an *ahem* unfortunate condition, you can't have both.

Terada: The great 'Clue Underground' a mysterious route by which thousands of clues escape the minds of people who are trying to 'get it'.

Grandfather: (singing) They are looking for Blue's Clues...they are looking for Blue's clues...

>Sakura and Sayoran go in a search oh there bestfriend Tomoyo, and find thosands of dollars and love in there search.

Terada: With spelling like that, Blues Clues is probably about all Clowcardmastress can handle.

Fujitaka: Where is Tomoyo--oh, their! Where are the 'thosand' of dollars and love? Well, the money is probably in Tomoyo's purse, their!

Sonomi: Are they trying to mug my daughter? And, y' know, all this crap is about Sakura. You suck as a parent, Kinomoto-sensei.

Grandfather: Those little pricks are supposed to be finding Tomoyo, not money and love!

>Cherry Blossoms,VideoCameras and an Otaku by Atsuikaze

Fujitaka: Ha! In your face, Sonomi-kun!

>A group of magic practicing Sakura/Tomoyo romance fans send a hapless fanboy to the CardCaptor Sakura world to get Tomoyo to confess her love to
Sakura.

Grandfather: They're cousins! I hope Atsuikaze realizes that.

Sonomi: Pft. I confessed to Nadeshiko hundreds of times...besides, Tomoyo has confessed. Sakura-chan is just dense.

Terada: As dumb as a post at times.

Fujitaka: Hey, now!

>This could get very crazy.Please read and review.

Grandfather: It could get crazy, but I doubt it.

Terada: It looks like it's going to get stupid.

>A Boy, A Girl, and a Halloween Party by BaBySmurf

Fujitaka: It's the middle of January.

>Tomoyo is throwing a MAJOR kick-butt halloween party-

Sonomi: Oh, no she isn't. Have you seen her grades this term? Absolutely not.

>Will Sakura come?

Fujitaka: Let's see....her best friend, ever, is throwing a party. No. No way.

>Will she be scared silly?

Terada: Yes. If she's at all in character, yes.

> Will she seek comfort in the arms of a certain amber-eyed boy? please READ & REVIEW! I know this is WAY outta >season, but I couldn't resist!**CHAPTER 5 UP**

Grandfather: (glares at Terada) What have I said about keeping your hands off of my great-granddaughter?

Terada: I'm not engaged to Sakura-san, sir. I'm engaged to her friend, Sasaki Rika-san. Besides, my eyes are brown, not yellow.

Grandfather: Why you great-granddaughter stealing bastard...

Sonomi: Grandfather...

>Card Captor Sakura: The Evil Sleepover Plan! by Kirin Li

Fujitaka: Because sleepovers are so often an evil event. I remember when that nice little Chinese girl came over...oh, the evilness that ensued. (he rolls his eyes)

>Co-written by Daine.

Sonomi: Whoever she is.

> The plot is: Tomoyo and Eriol are planning an evil sleep over! Why is it evil? Read and find out.

Grandfather: Sonomi-chan! You take that daughter of yours in hand and tell her 'no boys'. (glaring) What kind of mother are you...letting boys sleep over.

Sonomi: Yes, Grandfather.

>Making guest apearances are Kirin from The Purple Cherry Blossom and Ceres, from Daine's story, The Second Book of >Clow. Chapter 3 up!

Terada: Who ever they are.

Fujitaka: It doesn't matter who they are because we don't care.

>When You Need Me

Terada: Don't call.

> by DarkflamesSolitude

Grandfather: Because flames are naturally dark. That's why we use them for light.

>S&S are in Hong Kong on a vacation, and Tomoyo is being bothered by a local gang. But what happens when their threats >start to get serious... and dangerous?

Sonomi: Well, let's see...I think Tomoyo's bodyguards would happen. And hard. That's what I pay them for.

>And why won't Tomoyo tell any1? Pure ExT

Terada: Because the number one doesn't care.

Grandfather: She wouldn't tell anyone because killing is illegal and my great-granddaughter likes her bodyguards, that's why.

>A Lost Princess by chibicherry

Fujitaka: Kingdoms so often lose their princesses.

>She, a lost princess but now is a peasent.

Terada: A what? What's a 'pea-sent'?

Sonomi: Nature's greatest mistake?

>She is scared to love again because of when she first lost her family.

Grandfather: I thought she was lost. And what does that have to do with love? Why, my wife and I once lost Sonomi-chan's father for a week at the World Fair and it didn't emotionally scar him.

>He, the Prince of China.

Terada: Foul! China has a Chairman.

>Seemingly mean, he will change after he meets a certain girl who will change his life forever. S+S, E+T

Sonomi: (as Exeter ala Tom Servo) This isn't a cliché!

>If Only Tears Could Bring You Back by CuteMew
>AGGGHHHH!!!

All: AGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!

>HOW COULD I HAVE DELETED IT?!?!?

Terada: I have a guess...

Fujitaka: Me too.

Sonomi: Me three.

Grandfather: It's unanimous.

>well anyways, here it is again. ^_^ CCS fic, basically what happens after Syaoran leaves, well, with Sakura anyways...

Fujitaka: So, he left with Sakura?

Terada: She does an awful lot of leaving, doesn't she?

>Boredom... What it may bring... by Little Red Beast

Sonomi: Unfortunately, I'm going to guess it brings this fic.

>What happens when the cast of Cardcaptors are bored out of their pants...

Grandfather: They'll keep their pants ON, thank you.

>find out as you read another one of my weird fics. (WARNING: DO NOT READ IT... IT'S BORING... SEE THE TITLE? >AND I DID NO PROOVE READ IT EITHER... IT REALLY BAD... AND IT'S BORING)

Terada: QUIT SHOUTING. WE CAN HEAR YOU JUST FINE.

Fujitaka: I wouldn't want to prove I read it either.

>Legend Of The White Sky by Eternal Innocence

Grandfather: Legend of the Ostentatious Title.

>Li is the best sword fighter and was in search for the legendary sword to get revenge for his assassinated parents...

Terada: Only his father is dead. I have to send monthly reports to his mother.

>his enemy happens to be Sakura's father, the girl he fell in love with?

Fujitaka: What? What did I do? I'm a very nice man!

Sonomi: Sakura's father is the girl he fell in love with? Kinomoto-sensei, you never told me you were a girl!

Terada: You sure are one ugly girl, Sensei.

Fujitaka: I'm not a woman!

Sonomi: No, you're a girl. The one that Li loves. Even though you're his enemy. Must be a love/hate thing.

>Will Li ever get his revenge?

Grandfather: Sure he will! Or rather, I'll get it for him. (glares at Fujitaka) Granddaughter stealing...

Sonomi: No, Grandfather, he's going after the boys now.

Fujitaka: Moving along...

>Dark Clow Series by ClowReedMaster

Terada: Okay, I'll bite.

>The Dark Clow Series

Grandfather: Oh, that's helpful.

Fujitaka: I AM the Dark Clow!

Sonomi: You're the Dork Clow. Let's get out of here.

*?$@!

Deep 13

"Ah," Eriol sighed deeply as he settled into his chair at the control panel of Deep Thirteen, "that was a very productive session. I believe that I have a deeper understanding of my conflicted soul."

TV's Spinel Sun rolled over in a patch of artificial sun and yawned. "You've got red Crayola washables on your ear."

"Shut-up, Spinny." Eriol retorted. "It's none of your business. Your job was to monitor our new little friends. How did they fare?"

Spinel snored.

"I don't know what they did," Ruby Moon stated, coming into the room. "but we're in a whole heap of trouble." She dropped a massive stack of papers on the desk with a muffled boom. "We're being sued by Ucchan's Okonomiyaki for 'battering, abuse, harassment, assault, and mental pain and anguish."

"What?" Eriol grabbed a few of the papers off the top of the pile and skimmed them quickly. "Those morons!" He growled. "Ruby Moon, get Lina Inverse and her lackeys on the line."

&*%#

The Family Room of Decidedly Warm Feelings

"Welcome back, geek boy." Sonomi smiled pleasantly at the hex screen. She was seated on the arm of Grandfather's chair. "We read all those stupid summaries that you sent, now let us out before I find a way into your little tree-fort-of-doom and hang you from the branches for the carrion eaters."

Eriol scowled. "Face it, ducky, you're staying right where you are."

Fujitaka, on the other arm of the chair, frowned. "But we read everything you sent! I have a class to teach tomorrow! Sakura-san and the others have finals!"

"Your class won't even notice you're gone." Terada soothed from his perch on the back of the chair. "I'm sure that if I could remember college I'd tell you that I couldn't remember if my teachers were there or not. Besides, that's what the TAs are for."

Grandfather hit him with the cane and he tumbled to the floor. "You shut up. I'm getting sick of your 'everything is alright' attitude."

"Yes, Amamiya-san."

"Now, boy, I'm sure we can work something out..." Grandfather turned his attention back to Eriol. "I mean, I own one of the largest companies in this country and have stock in Sonomi-chan's company too. If you'd like, I could make you the CEO of Daidouji Toys."

"Grandfather!"

"That's business, Pixie-chan!" He snapped.

Eriol laughed menacingly. "Why settle for a toy company when I can have the world?" He asked rhetorically. His gaze sharpened. "This haggling wouldn't happen to be a lame attempt to get out of the Summary Exchange, would it?"

"Of course not!" Fujitaka laughed nervously. "No, not at all!"

Sonomi got to her feet. "Since we haven't had any time to prepare, we're simply going to re-write one of the sorry, piece of crap summaries we went over today." She circled around behind the chair and kicked Terada. "Terada-sensei, why don't you tell him which one we decided to work on?"

Terada sat up and rubbed his head. "Ow. Uh...we, um...Oh! I know! We can do 'It seems...' By PaJamas! It had almost nothing to it and was mostly boring instead of complete crap!"

"I guess you're not the simpleton I thought you were." Grandfather nodded in approval.

Eriol was unimpressed. "Get to it; I don't have all day. I'm supposed to be hitting Urd, Skuld, Belldandy and Keiichi with SPAM mail in five minutes."

Sonomi motioned for everybody to stand. "Since PaJamas doesn't say whose "first day back" it is, It Seems... we've decided to make it our first day back at school. What's funnier than four grown men and women heading back to school?"

Grandfather snorted. "Lots of things." At Fujitaka's frantic gesture he sighed. "PaJamas asks, "What's gonna happen?" Well, first day of her senior year, I'll be getting Pixie out of whatever trouble she finds..."

"Ha, ha, Grandfather." Sonomi said scathingly before continuing on with the summary. " ...which happens to be punching the Vice Principle for being a pervert. Tying his shoe my...well, I don't buy that kind of story.

Tereda winced as he listened to Sonomi before shrugging. "Might as well re-enact my real first day at Secondary School. I get beat up by the captain of the soccer team in front of the girls locker room and despair of ever finding love." He paused. "Uh, again."

Fujitaka looked at the others with a placid non-expression. "And I hide in the Faculty Lounge frantically finishing my lesson plans and hoping Sonomi-kun doesn't hit me next."

"Take it or leave it, four-eyes." Sonomi growled, turning toward the hex screen. Eriol sat with his back to them, talking to one of the other screens.

"Eriol-kun?" Fujitaka asked.

"Hiiragizawa-san, we did the Summary Exchange...maybe we could talk now?" Terada tried as one of the lights on the screen began to flash.

Grandfather whacked the screen with his cane. "Dang it, boy, you answer us!" He hit the screen again. "And what's with this flashing light? Boy? Boy!" He continued to strike out until he hit the button.

FEEL FREE TO HUM TOMOYO'S THEME

(Roll credits...head to CardCaptor Schlueter's page)

(Thanks everybody and keep circulating the summaries)