*LIKE, TURN DOWN YOUR LIGHTS, KAY?*
(And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain)
(The spy world isn't what it used to be....)
CCST3K’s Magical MSTery Tour Productions Presents…
"TOTALLY SPIES THEATER 3000" (SEASON ONE)
EPISODE 6: BLIND DATE
(A King of Fighters MSTing)
MSTed From the Desk of CardCaptor Schlueter (aka Syaoran-kun)
This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author.
Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment
purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or
trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred.
“Totally Spies” is the property of Marathon Animation.
Diana Lombard and any references to “Martin Mystery” are the
property of Alfredo Castelli and (surprise!)
“The King of Fighters” is the property of SNK/Eolith/Playmore.
“Blind Date” is the property of The Unknown1 and is used with permission.
I do not intend to offend him by making fun of his work like this but
I figure it's only a matter of time before someone does. Think of this as another form of C&C. ;)
**
[PART 2]
**
(Door 6: It’s Clover’s walk-in closet. The doors slide open and you walk through.)
(Door 5: It’s Sam’s front door. She forgot her key so Alex needs to use a hairpin to pick the lock.)
(Door 4: It’s the spies’ wardrobe. You spend twenty minutes trying to find your way to the other side.)
(Door 3: It’s a waterfall. The girls freeze it and smash through.)
(Door 2: It’s a mirror. Once you pry the girls away from checking their makeup, you move on.)
(Door 1: It’s a trap door. You fall through it.)
(Door .7: The camera pans downward to a giant ‘WHOOP’ logo. The second ‘O’ opens up and you walk through..)
Sam,
Alex, Clover and Diana take their seats in the front row.
Diana: Geez… This robe is way too drafty for this place.
Alex: Just be careful walking over that air grate at the entrance.
>Blind Date
>
>Chapter 08
Sam: Don’t be late!
Clover: Feelin’ great!
Alex: Just don’t hate!
Diana: This is second rate.
>The Meeting.
Alex: In a surprise twist, Donald Trump is fired this week.
>At the airport....
Clover: George Kennedy pilots another flight doomed to
disaster.
>"This will be good." Chang said, stepping off of the plane. He
had on some regular clothes, and had his huge iron ball in a briefcase.
Sam: They let him get on a plane with that thing?
Diana: I’m surprised they could fit him through the door.
>He had been thinking of who the girl he was about to
meet would look like. His greatest hope would be that the girl liked him.
>
>"Excuse me, sir." A man said, as he looked up at Chang.
"I've been told to escort you to a representitve of Zingi's Dating
Service. Please come with me."
Alex:<Marty Feldman> Walk this way…
>Over at the other side of the airport
>
>Leona saluted the helicopter pilot, then turned towards the door leading to
the innards of the airport. Frankly, she didn't care too much about this. It
was just a >mission, assigned by the higher ups, and she had to fulfill it,
like all other missions in life.
Sam:<Leona> Except no guns or explosions this time…
Damn!
>*Besides, * She thought. *There is no way I could find love on this date.*
Clover: I sure hope this isn’t ironic foreshadowing.
>At the meeting place...
>
>K9999 was busy waiting, as he was still in pain from the beatdowns. He had
gotten into a tuxedo, so his identity would not be discovered.
Diana:<heavy, heavy sarcasm> Yeah. Because we all
know *that’s* enough to disguise blue haired wackos like K9999.
>A man came up to him, saying "They are both
outside of the room, waiting to enter"
>
>"Good. Bring them in, then leave me." K9999 said, still wondering
why he was doing this in the first place.
Alex: And why he was talking like some Bond villain.
>The man bowed, then opened both doors, then left. Chang and Leona walked
in, both blindfolded.
Clover: Oh. It’s not a date. They’re being put in front of
a firing squad!
Sam: Wishful thinking.
>"Greetings. From Zingi's Dating Service, I welcome you." K9999
said, trying his absolute hardest to be polite. "Now you both know this
date is two weeks long, >right?"
Diana: Two weeks long?!
Alex: Wow… My longest date was only a few hours.
>Both Chang and Leona, shook their heads.
>
>"Good. Take off the blindfolds."
Sam: Head shaking means ‘No’, doorknob.
Diana:<K9999> What the hell do I care?
>They both did so, and the first thing they saw was each other.
>
>It took 2.5 seconds for their minds to register that they knew who the
other was.
Alex and Clover:<Chang and Leona> Hey! I know you!
>Then it took another 1.9 seconds to faint.
Diana: Fanfic timing by Miki Kaoru.
>"Yeah, that's what I did to." K9999 said.
All: COMEDY!!
>Blind Date
>
>Chapter 09
Alex: And feelin’ fine!
>Spies Like Us
<The girls shift uncomfortably>
Sam: Moving on…
>"I can't believe this..." Choi said, hiding in an air vent. One
of his advantages was that he was small enough to get into places most people
wouldn't even try to fit >into.
Clover: And we all know airports leave all their air ducts
completely unprotected and easy to get into.
>He could see Leona was just starting to recover, but she was still woozy.
>
>*I'm already starting to feel sorry for Chang.* Choi thought, but any other
thought was interruppted as he heard a noise coming from behind him.
Diana:<Choi> Uh-oh… Aliens!
>Before he could do anything, someone put their hand
over his mouth, keeping him from crying out.
>
>"Don't say anything." A feminine voice said.
Alex:<Sophitia> Don’t say anything…
>Choi turned to see Whip, in what looked to be a not so
comfortable position.
<Sam and Clover glare at Alex>
Alex: What?
>"What are you doing here?" Whip asked in a low voice, taking her
hand off of his mouth.
>
>"Kim told me to watch Chang and make sure he stays good. I'm assuming
your here to watch Leona."
Alex: They like to watch.
Sam and Clover: ALEX!
Diana: Why *IS* Whip watching Leona anyway? Didn’t she
leave the Ikari Warriors to join K’s team in 2001?
>"Chang? That's Leona's date?"
>
>"See for yourself..." Choi said.
>
>Whip peered down through the vent, and saw this was correct. Now both Chang
and Leona had recovered.
Diana: Too bad there’s still several chapters left.
>"I have a bad feeling...." Whip said.
>
>"Yeah. I know. This won't be a good date." Choi said.
Sam: It will be a date that will live in infamy…
Clover: Can it, Sam.
>"Besides that. Look at the man in the suit. He looks familiar."
Whip said.
>
>"Probably just your imagination. It's probably no one."
Alex:<Whip> Are you sure? He looks just like a NESTS
operative.
Sam:<Choi> Nah. Probably just another Tetsuo
cosplayer.
>"Maybe...." Whip sighed, as they watched what was happening below
them
>
>"You want team up?" Choi asked. This startled Whip.
All: Eeeewwwww…
>"Team up?"
Diana:<Whip> Not on your life!
>"Might as well. Just in case. It will be easier to spy on them if we
work together."
>
>Whip thought about this. "Sure." She said. "Just don't get
in my way."
>
>"No problem."
Clover: Oh, great. More wacky hijinks to come.
>Blind Date
>
>Chapter 10
Alex: I didn’t think ten things had happened so far.
>Iron Ball Wielders, Blood Rioters, and Tetsuo-Clones (Oh my!)
Sam:<Dorothy> Toto, I don’t think we’re in canon fiction
anymore.
>Now that both Chang and Leona had recovered enough to talk...
>
>"You mean that this overweight, iron ball carrying, freakshow is my
date." Leona said, angry.
Clover:<Alex Trebek> You must answer in the form of a
question.
>"Sorry. I'm not the one who put this together." K9999 said.
"Now, here are the plane tickets, schedule of date..."
Alex:<K9999 as Dr. Drakken> First, you will be locked in this impenetrable safe. Then, the safe will be dropped into a bottomless chasm, which will then be filled with water. Next, I shall freeze over the top of the water with a 6-foot-thick sheet of ice. And finally, sharks and a man-eating squid will be released into the water...
Diana:<Shego> Wait, wait, wait... if the chasm is "bottomless," how can you fill it with water?
<Pause>
Alex:<K9999
as Dr. Drakken> It's very, very deep, all right?!
>"I'm not..."
Diana: …Rappaport?
>"Spending cash..."
Clover: Yes, please.
>"Thanks, but..."
>
>"Charger Tickets..."
>
>"I hate the Chargers, but..."
Sam: Oh, NFL humor, you slay me!
>"Tickets to see various things I could care less
about." K9999 blabbed on.
>
>"WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP FOR ONE MINUTE!" Leona
screamed.
>
>"No." K9999 said. "I'm saying this so I can leave as soon as
possible.
Diana: Wow… I can sympathize.
Alex: K9999! He says what you’re thinking!
>You are to enjoy each other's company. All food is paid
for, as is the hotel room in each place your staying. Oh, and we will be
watching you. So don't try >anything funny."
Sam: In this fanfic? You’ve gotta be kidding.
>"You don't happen to have..." Chang stared.
>
>"Whatever it is, I don't care. I've got to go. Bye." K9999 said,
running out the door as fast as he could.
Clover:<K9999, singing> No time to say hello, good-bye.
I’m late. I’m late. I’m late.
Alex: K9999, ladies and gentlemen! He’ll be here all week!
>Chang and Leona looked at each other. "Well, I guess we make the most
of it." Chang said.
>
>"Whatever. Shut up, and let's get going. I'm not thrilled about this,
and I am only doing this under orders. Don't expect me to be happy about
this."
Diana:<Chang> Hey, I’m not thrilled about getting
stuck with you either.
>Chang looked sadden, and about to cry, but said "So, where do we go
first?"
>
>Leona looked at the schedule. "Apparently,
Alex: Why don’t you tell us what you *don’t* hate, Leona.
I’m sure that’s a shorter list.
Sam: So… where are they now if they’re not in
>Outside....
>
>K9999 was heaving into the nearest trash can.
Clover: I warned him not to order the oysters as his
in-flight meal, but did he listen?
>"My God. I could hardly stand it." K9999 said. "The only
thing worse is listening to a CYS concert."
>
>"WHAT WAS THAT?" A group of CYS fans said, rushing at K9999.
K9999 was too sick to fight back, and the trouncing began...
Diana: Okay. We officially have a running joke.
Alex: That’s a joke?
>____________________________________________________________________________
___
>
>Note: No offense to Charger fans....
Sam:<author> …but your team SUCKS!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Clover: Sadly he can’t be heard over the continuous cheering of the finally vindicated Red Sox fans.
>Blind Date
>
>Chapter 11
Diana: The fanfic’s gone bankrupt?
Alex: Doesn’t surprise me.
>Prelude to
Clover: Their rental car is a Prelude?
>An hour later, on the plane, first class.
Sam: Chemistry or Physics?
>"Shut up. Your keeping me awake." Leona growled, as she closed
her eyes again.
All: That’s not *MY* “keeping me awake”.
Diana:<Chang> But I didn’t say anything!
Sam:<Leona> I meant the narrator.
>Chang just sighed. "Don't you just want to talk me? Please."
>
>"NO! I want to sleep! I could care absolutly less about you. NOW SHUT
IT!"
Clover:<Leona> Urge to kill… rising!
>Chang sighed as he thought of how to try and get Leona to at least care
about him. He had expected a caring, loving, gentle girl.
>
>What he got was Leona.
Alex: Look on the bright side. If it was Shermie you’d probably
already be dead.
>Over to Coach Section
Diana: Craig T. Nelson?
>K9999 was still mad. He was fuming over what Igniz had told him.
>
>*Flashback*
Sam: …was a real crap-ass game.
Alex: That’s not nice.
Sam: I call ‘em as I see ‘em.
>K9999's cell phone went off, and has he answered it, he heard Igniz's voice
Clover:<Igniz> Can you hear me now? Good.
Sam:<Igniz, ominous> Hello…
>"Hello, my servent. How does it go."
>
>"Horrible." K9999 said "Why do you do this to me?"
>
>"I have to get my jollies from somewhere." Igniz said. "Now,
follow them wherever they go. I must have someone watching them at all
times."
Alex:<Igniz> I like to watch.
Diana: Ick…
>"WHAT!" K9999 screamed. "NO. Have Krizald do this."
>
>"He's Dead."
Alex:<McCoy> He’s dead, Jim!
Sam: So how come they acted like he was alive earlier in
the story?
>"Zero, then."
>
>"Clone Zero is dead. Original Zero is on his vacation."
Diana:<Igniz> I’d have made more than one clone, but
that Gendo guy charges a mint, man.
>"Fine. Have Foxy watch them."
>
>"You killed her, remember?" Igniz said. Now K9999 was wishing he
wasn't so violent.
Diana: When did he do that?
Sam: KOF 2001.
Diana: But Foxy had a cameo in 2002!
Sam: Yeah. And Chris got iced in 1997, but did that stop
him?
>"Fine. Ron."
Alex: He’s busy on a mission with Kim Possible.
Sam: Not that Ron.
Alex: Harry Potter?
Sam: No.
Alex: Directing a movie?
Sam: Not Ron Howard.
Alex: How about…
Sam: Just… stop, okay?
>"Missing. Something about a Ninja Convention"
Clover:<Igniz> Apparently, Kasumi, Ayane, Ayame, Rin,
Ibuki, Kitana, Mileena, Jade and Kurenai are there this year.
>"Angel?"
>
>"Ran off with some fanfic author. Someone called The Unknown1"
Sam: *cough*bullshit*cough*
Clover: Think he typed this chapter one handed?
Diana: Clover…
>"Your wife?"
>
>"She's busy shopping. Just do as I tell you. Have fun." Then the
cell phone went off. K9999 did the only thing he could think of.
>
>"My power...." K999 threw the cell phone in the air.
>
>"Is losing control...." The cell phone started spirialing down.
Alex:<K9999> Urge to kill… Rising!
Sam:<K9999> Must control… Fist of Death…
>"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"
Diana: Megami-sama?
>His arm became a mess of flesh extending out to a long
reach, nailing the cell phone, and destroying it.
Clover: Well, that’s one way to avoid high phone bills.
>No one paid attention, because some dumb soap opera was on the airport
television, and everyone thought that was more interesting.
Alex: Well, compared to this plot…
>*End Flashback*
>
>"I hate my life." K9999 said, as he sat, eating peanuts.
Diana: We hate your life too.
>Over to the luggage section.
>
>"Why are we hiding here?" Whip asked.
>
>"Kim didn't give me any money." Choi said, as his cell phone went
off.
Clover: And Whip doesn’t have any money?
>He fumbled for the phone, then answered
"Yeah?"
>
>"Hey. It's Kim. Hey, forgot to tell you before your left. Your wife
called."
Sam:<Kim> She wants you to pick up some milk and
bread.
>"Yeah?" Choi said.
>
>"She divorced you, took all your money, and left with some guy called
Syo Kirishima. As of yesterday, your a single man again. Sorry. Remember to
teach people >about justice! BYE!"
Clover: Real sensitive, Kim.
Alex: This explains why Team
>Choi turned off his cell phone, then started crying like a baby.
Diana:<Choi as Usagi> WAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!
Sam:<Whip as Ami> There, there, Choi. Don’t cry.
>_______________________________________________________________________________
>
>Note: Sorry for it being short.
Alex:<author> This has never happened to me before!
Honest!
>Note: Thanks for Captain Spoon for putting me in one of his stories. ^_^
Diana:<Tick> SPOOOOOOOOOOOOON!
>Blind Date
>
>Chapter 12
Clover: Chapters are cheaper by the dozen.
>Undercharged
Sam: Better than overcharged.
Diana: Especially with Canadian taxes.
>Our 'couple' has now gotten to
>
>"Oh, come on!" Chang said, walking into the stadium. "Could
you at least try and act nice to me. Please?"
Alex:<Leona> No. One of us has to stay in character.
>"Whatever." Leona said. "You know that I don't want to be
here. Let's just find our seats." Leona looked at the tickets, and started
heading to their seat.
Alex: Just one? Igniz sure is cheap.
Sam: So Leona’s going to have to sit on Chang’s lap?
Clover: Well, it wouldn’t work the other way around, would
it?
>Chang just followed.
Diana: That’s the story of Chang’s whole life.
>Meanwhile... Outside the stadium...
>
>"So, how do we get in..." Whip asked. Choi just shrugged.
"Don't know." he said sheepishly
>
>"Need tickets Choi?" A voice from behind asked. Both Whip and
Choi turned around and saw Brain Battler, in a Patriot uniform.
>"Uh... Yeah Brian..." Choi said "Hey, I haven't seen you in
a long time... "
Clover:<Brian> Yeah,
Lucky, Heavy D and I were bound, gagged and tossed in a landfill by the
SNK execs.
>"Yeah. KOF officials won't let me and my team back in. Not popular
enough" Brain said with a huff.
Diana: Calling the Sports Team unpopular is like calling
the
>"Oh well, I already have a few Super Bowl Rings,
so I'm not too upset. How are you, Whip?"
>
>"How do you know my name?" Whip asked, startled.
Sam:<Whip> I’m afraid I have to kill you for that.
Alex:<Brian> Please do. Reincarnation is my only
hope.
>"Kept up on the tournament. Might as well. So, the two of you on a
date?"
>
>Both Whip and Choi blushed,
Clover: I hope this isn’t foreshadowing.
>but Choi said "No, but a couple of our friends
are."
>
>Brian raised an eyebrow. "Interesting. Tell me more..."
Diana:<Brian> Most people shun me, so any social
interaction is great for me.
>Back to our 'couple'
>
>"Why do you bother buying the junk?" Leona asked, watching as
Chang was coming back with two Chargers jerseys with the number '21' on it, a
couple of >programs, two hats, and two pennents.
>
>"Why not? We have $100,000 in funds. Wonder how the dating service can
afford it?"
Clover: But, they only get one seat at the stadium… Is
anyone else confused?
>"Probably is just an outlet of some big corperation." Leona said,
Diana:<looking at some papers> According to this,
it’s a subsidiary of the Umbrella Corporation.
Sam: That can’t be good.
>then saw Chang pick up one of the jerseys.... one that
would fit her...
>
>"No. I'm not wearing that." Leona said.
>
>"Please..." Chang asked, nicely.
Alex:<Chang> But you’d look so good in a leather
thong.
Others: ALEX!
>Leona was about to say no again, but thought *Why not? You are under orders
to have fun. Just do it so he doesn't whine...*
>
>"Okay." Leona said, taking the jersey, and putting it on over her
shirt.
>
>"Thank you, Leona." Chang smilied. It was the first thing Leona
had done that was nice since they met.
>
>Back to our spies...
<All shift uncomfortably again>
>"Here we are." Brian said, taking Whip and Choi to their seats.
"Hope Leona and Chang's date goes well."
>
>"So do we." Choi said. "Remember, you can't say
anything."
Clover:<Choi> Or we *will* have to kill you.
>"Would anyone believe me?" Brain said, laughing.
>
>"Great. Thanks a lot, Brian." Choi said.
Sam: Hey! He actually *is* good for something.
>"No problem. I got to get back to the team. Game time is in 20
minutes. Remember to watch for me. I'm number 95."
>
>"Sure." Whip said, scanning the crowd for Leona and Chang.
>
>After Brian left, Whip and Choi waited, looking for Leona or Chang in the
crowds, and just waiting for the game...
Diana: So they’re looking for Leona and Chang? Is that what
you’re telling us?
Sam:<Mojo Jojo> For they were looking for Leona and
Chang because Leona and Chang needed to be found and to find them you need to
look for them or they will not be found, so says MOJO JOJO!
>______________________________________________________________________________
<Alex imitates flatline noise>
Sam: Time of fanfic death, 3:15 pm.
>Note: I decided to put the game in the next chapter, as otherwise the
chapter would be too long...
>
>Note: Hey, I need more ideas! Anyone got any? You will get credit if I use
it.
Clover:<author> I’m kinda running on empty here.
>Note: This chapter was written while listening to Sarina Paris' song,
"Look at Us" The original one, not the Daddy DJ remix thats on DDR. I
have a warped sense >of music
Alex: Not to mention… Nah. Too easy.
>For my reviewers:
>
>Vulto: I'm already doing a May Lee/Chris fic. (Yes, I'm still working on
it.... ^_^;;;) Thanks for the suggestion. ^_^
Diana: What did May Lee do to deserve that?! Sell
government secrets to
>SSBFreak: I might use your idea, but not at the moment. I have plans for
this.... ^_^
Clover:<author, overdramatic> *I* don’t have any evil
plans!
>To everyone else (Hey, a whole lot of people reviewed.) Thanks for the
support, and keep reading
>
>Blind Date
>
>Chapter 13
Sam: Uh-oh… Bad luck ahead!
>The Game's Dead, Jim
Diana:<McCoy> Damn it, Jim, I’m a Doctor, not a
Proofreader!
>It was then end of the first quarter, and Leona had already fallen asleep.
Alex: It was the beginning of the thirteenth chapter and we’re fighting brain death.
>Although
Chang wished Leona would have been nice enough to stay awake, even he had to
admit that watching the Patriots' score 30 points against the Chargers >in
the first quarter was pretty bad.
Clover: That true of the fanfic too. And not just the first quarter of it.
>*I'll wake her up around halftime.* Chang thought, waving his Chargers
pennet, hoping the Chargers would score before the end of the the next year.
Sam:<Alf> Ha! I kill me!
Alex: This spelling is rapidly descending to Thinker-esque levels.
>Over to Whip and Choi...
Diana: …for sports and weather.
>The was one of the few times either had seen American football, and they
were loving it, espically Choi. And they only loved it more as the second
quarter started.
>
>"Woah, did you see Brian sack the quarterback?" Choi said,
exicitedly.
>
>"Of course." Whip said, calmly, but still enjoying it. "So,
how are our lovebirds?"
>
>Choi took a look with his binoulars. "Leona's asleep. That's not a
good sign."
Sam:<Choi> So are the readers it seems.
Clover: Well if the *characters* are falling asleep, why not us too?
>Whip just sighed. "Yeah. But's only the first part of a long date.
Give it time."
>
>"Of course. Hey, Patriots scored again off a fumble." Choi said,
going back to watching the game.
>
>Whip smiled a little. It was amusing to watch Choi stand on his feet to
cheer.
Diana:<Whip> He can’t even see over the seats. That’s so funny!
>*From the looks of it, you'd never know that his wife had left him.* Whip
thought, thinking to eariler.
>
>FLASHBACK
>
>Choi had been crying like a baby for at least an hour in the luggage
section.
Sam:<Choi> What do you mean my suitcase is in
>"She left.... me... WWWAAAAHHHHH!!!!!" Choi cried, as Whip sat
right next to him, her arm around him.
>
>"Shh... It's okay..." Whip said.
>
>"No.. She said she... would *SNIFF* stay with me forever... *Sniff*"
Clover: Well, if it helps, it’s been forever since we started reading this.
>"You've been faithful, right?"
>
>"Yeah..." Choi said, still in tears
>
>"Then she isn't worthy of you..."
Sam: I know this is shallow, but this is *Choi* we’re talking about. If she lasted a week without running away screaming I’d be surprised.
>"But I love her!!!" Choi cried into Whip's shoulder.
>
>"Listen, you'll get over her." Whip said. "Just remember to
think about something else, like..."
>
>"Leona and Chang possibly getting together?"
>
>"Yes, that would work. And I'll help you get over her."
Clover: Sure. Why not watch someone else’s lame pursuit of happiness fail? It’ll make you feel better.
>"You mean it?" Choi asked.
>
>"Sure I do. There are many girls who will like you. Trust me."
Whip said.
Alex: …with her fingers crossed.
>Soon Choi had fallen asleep on Whip's shoulder.
Diana: Awww… That’s so cute I might be sick.
>END FLASHBACK
>
>Halftime...
>
>"Leona, wake up..." Chang said, as Leona rubbed the sleep out of
her eye.
>
>"And I was having a good dream too..." Leona mumbled.
Clover:<Leona> I was beating the author to within an inch of his life. <smiles>
>"Who's
winning?"
>
>"Patriots... 43 to 9"
>
>"Well, I'm hungry."
Diana:<Leona>
FEED ME,
>"Yeah, me too. Let's go to one of the stand and get some food."
Chang said, standing up. Leona got up as well and head towards the hot dog
stand. What they >didn't know was that the hot dog vender was K9999
Alex: What do you wanna bet they *still* don’t recognize him?
>"Yeah, what will you have?" K9999 said to Leona and Chang, hoping
he wasn't noticed. Everyone at NESTS would have laughed if they had found
out...
>
>"Two hot dogs. Everything on it. And two sodas."
Sam:<Groucho Marx> And two hard-boiled eggs.
<Diana honks a bicycle horn>
Sam:<Groucho Marx> Make that three hard-boiled eggs.
>"Whatever. It's $19.33" K9999 was given a twenty "Okay, your
stupid meal is coming." K9999 walked away.
Diana: Something tells me the Stupid Meal didn’t catch on at McDonald’s.
>In a minute he was back with the order. "Here, now go. And have a nice
day." The last part he had to force out.
>
>"What a rude server." Chang said to himself, as they took their
seats
Alex:<Chang> And he looked oddly familiar.
Clover:<Leona> Really? He looks like your average guy to me.
>Meanwhile, K9999 was making mental notes. *Subjects seem to be okay. Leona
looks bored, somewhat tired. Chang looks happy. Man, that guy has got to
>shave.."
>
>"Hey, K9999!" a female voice rang out.
>
>K9999 looked over, and saw Angel coming over. *Now where did she come from?
No everyone will know...*
Sam: Yeah, like anyone is looking at *you* when Angel is in the room.
>"Hey, what are you working here for?" Angel asked. "You get
fired for killing another Kyo clone?"
>
>"No." K9999 said, gritting his teeth "I'm watching Chang and
Leona."
>
>"Ohhh... The Blind Date Project... Glad I'm not you..." Angel
said, smiling.
Clover: Who isn’t?
>"Yeah, you ran off with some fanfic author..."
Alex:<K9999> Yeah, I have more dignity than to be a blow-up doll for some fan’s gratuitous virtual masturbation.
Others: ALEX!!
Alex: WHAT?! It’s true!
>"Hey, It's my vacation. I'll do what I want. Gotta go. Wait a
minute..." Angel pulled out a camera and took a picture of K9999 in the
hot dog vendor's outfit. >"There. See ya!"
>
>"You better not show that to anyone, or I'll arrange another
'accident'."
Diana:<K9999 as Dr. Drakken> You think you’re all that, but you’re NOT!
>Angel just stuck her tounge out at K9999, and walked away.
Clover: Causing several males to walk into nearby walls, lamp posts…
>End of Game... Parking lot...
>
>"Okay, that was pointless..." Leona said, walking to their rented
car.
Sam: Hey! We’ve been saying that since the beginning of all this!
>"Hey, it's not my fault the Patriots won, 79 to 17."
>
>"Whatever... Where to?"
>
>Chang looked at the schedual. "We stay the night here, then we pack
off to
Alex: Vegas, baby! Vegas!
Clover:<Chang>
Apparently some guy named
>"Grand..." Leona said, sarcastic.
>
>Okay... Sorry for not being faster
Diana:<author> …stronger, better than I was before!
>Vulto: Give me any ideas you want. I can't use them all, but if I find something I CAN use, you will get credit for it. And yes, being an evil boss underling is not a >job that you would want...
>Peachrocks: Hmm... Stuck in a dilemma, I see...
>Lyrix of Azn Ethix: Thanks for the reviews. All of them...
Sam:<author> Please stop stalking me before I get a restraining order.
>Hey, got any ideas?
>Everyone Else: Thank for reviewing
Alex:<Sumomo> Thank you for playing!
>Blind Date
>
>Chapter 14
>
>Royally Flushed
Clover: Oh, this one is just too easy.
>The
scene is
>"So here we are." Chang said, carrying all the luggage.
>"That's nice." Leona said, not caring. "What's on the schedule?"
Alex:<Dr. Drakken> First, you will be locked in this impenetrable safe. Then, the safe will be dropped into a bottomless chasm, which will then be…
Diana:<covering Alex’s mouth> Enough already.
>"We have tickets to some Knights of the Roundtable dinner show at 7:00. It's about 2:00 now..."
>"Great..." Leona said. "Just what I need to see. Old men eating on a roundtable."
Sam: Yeah. Connery and Gere were kinda pushing it when they did that movie.
>"Actually,
it's probably about how King Arthur and his best knights, and the valiant deeds
that they did, how he got a sword from a stone, getting the sword from >the
Lady of the
>"You mean there is actually a brain up there?" Leona asked, surprised.
Clover: Geez… Now the author’s just handing them to us.
>"Hey, just because I'm a fighter doesn't mean I'm stupid. I didn't do too badly in school. I read Le Morte d'Arthur for Literature."
Sam: Of course, Leona is a fighter too, so why would she think that in the first place?
>"Whatever. So... What do we do?" Leona asked.
>30 Minutes later...
Alex:<Gary Shandling> Okay, thirty minutes just passed.
>"Okay..." Leona said, as she sat at the poker table. Chang sat on the chair next to her. A few others were sitting at the table."
>"Hmm... Wonder where the table manager is..." Chang said.
>Just then the dealer sat at the table, but there was something odd about him... Maybe it was the blue hair...
Clover: Oh, come ON!
Sam:<Leona> Hmmm… He looks vaguely familiar.
Alex:<Chang> Probably just another Tetsuo cosplayer.
Diana:<K9999> Even *I’m* not buying this crap anymore.
>"Sorry for my delay..." K9999 said. He had been getting some instructions from Igniz, and they weren’t good ones... "Here are the rules: 5 Card Draw, nothing >wild. No limit on betting." K9999 smirked. One of the things he was very good at was poker.
Alex: Liquor up front…
<Diana smacks her upside the head>
Alex: Ow!
>He always won money off of everyone at NESTS. Even Igniz. K9999 started dealing the cards, a grin on his face.
>Over to the slot machines...
>Our spies are busy watching the poker game begin, behind the slot machines. Whip started smiling.
>"What are you smiling for?" Choi asked.
>"Leona is the best poker player of the Ikari Squad. Trust me. I've lost money every time I play against her..."
Sam: I’d like to point out that the only other fanfic writer to put this much emphasis on a poker scene is Stephen Ratliff. Think about that, please.
>"Speaking of money... " Choi held up a quarter. "This is pretty much all we have left. What should we do?"
>Back to the poker table...
>Ha! I know no one here can beat this K9999 said, putting down his cards, revealing a full house. There were groans around the table, as K9999 brought the >money back into his section of the table.
>"That's the third hand in a row he's won." Chang said, dejectedly.
Clover:<Leona> Yeah… Hey, what are these little marks on the back of the cards?
>"He has to lose." Leona said. "Everyone does." Then the overpowering sound of a siren went out through the casino, letting everyone know that someone had won >a jackpot.
Diana: And that security was going to block all the exits until they lost it all again.
>Over to our spies.
<All look around nervously>
Alex: Seriously, fanfic. Stop that.
>Both Choi's and Whip's eyes were bulging, as quarters came out from the slot machine. Millions of them....
Diana:<Dr. Evil> One hundred MILLION quarters!
>"Talk about luck..." Choi said, not being able to take his eyes of the money "I just pull the handle and..."
Sam:<Choi> …a whole city is instantly vaporized!
>"Yeah..." Whip said. "But I think we just blew our cover..."
>Choi looked over to the poker table. "Nope. They're not looking at us. But I think everyone else is..."
Alex:<Frasier Crane> STOP STARING AT MEEEE!!
>"I think our money problem is solved for a while..." Was all Whip could respond with. "I hope the Commander doesn't mind if I open an account for you."
>"Just me?" Choi said. "We're in this together. We'll split the money 50/50. I just hope I can explain this to Kim without having to add more training days to my >week..."
Clover:<Choi> Of course, now and can buy and sell his ass, so…
>Whip was surprised that Choi was willing to share with her. "You're willing to share?"
>"Yeah. Do you think I'm a criminal... wait, don't answer that. Please don't." Choi said, embarrassingly. "But why an account?"
>"Trust me, we don't want to be carrying all this with us in cash." Whip said.
Sam: Especially not in quarters.
>Back over to the poker table...
>Leona and K9999 were the only ones left in this hand, as everyone else had folded. The pot was now at about ten thousand dollars.
>"I'll see your bet, and I'll raise a thousand dollars." K9999 said. Good thing I'm not spending my own money for this... I'm spending NESTS' money.. He He He >he thought.
Alex:<K9999> I’m so naughty!
>Leona hesitated for a moment, then said "How about this. I'll put up the rest of the money I have, and you match it, and we simply put down our cards."
>"Deal" K9999 said.
>"Leona..." Chang started to say.
>"Chang, you trust me, don't you?" Leona said.
Diana:<Chang> Is that a trick question?
>"Of course."
>"Then watch." Leona said, as she put the rest of the money (About $98,000) on the table.
>She's putting the money NESTS gave them for the date on the line. Good. Maybe they'll call off the date when I take money K9999 said, as he put the same >amount on the table, then put down the cards.
Clover:<K9999> You SUCK, cards!
>Three of spades, four of spades, five of spades, six of spades, and seven of spades.
>"Ha, straight flush. Beat that." K9999 said, starting to take the money, until Chang grabbed his wrist
Sam:<K9999 as Robert Shaw, smirking> Four nines…
>"Leona hasn't put down her cards yet, mister." Chang said.
>"Why bother? I have already won!"
>Leona put down her hand...
>King of hearts, queen of hearts, jack of hearts, 10 of hearts....
>and...
>Ace of Hearts
Diana:<Leona as Paul Newman, also smirking> Four Jacks…
>"Royal Flush. I win." Leona said, allowing herself a smirk. K9999 couldn't believe it, as Leona took the money, and said to Chang "I'll meet you back in our hotel >room in a few minutes."
Alex: Whoa! Hello!
Clover: Alex…
>K9999 just sat there, as everyone left the table. He couldn't believe this. Just then the cell phone rang, as K9999 answered it.
>"I saw you just lost us a lot of money." Igniz said, sternly.
>"How did you...???"
>"I'm watching you. This is coming out of your paycheck. Now follow them when they go to the show. DON'T MESS UP!"
Sam:<muttering> This is already messed up…
>Then the line went dead.
>Great... Can this get any worse? K9999 thought
>"Hey K9999!" Angel shouted
Alex:<Angel> Have you seen my pants? These chaps are just too drafty.
>I had to ask. K9999 thought, but only said "What are you doing here?"
>"Igniz wants me to make sure you don't mess up. I hope you know I don't want to be here. You're ruining my vacation, and you know I hate gambling."
Diana: She’s hanging with the author. I’d say that’s a pretty *big* gamble.
>"Blah Blah Blah, talk to someone who cares." K9999 said, turning.
>"I believe that you should be more respectful to Angel-chan" a voice called out from behind K9999.
Alex:<voice> RESPECT HER AUTHORITAH’!
Sam:<voice> Oh, and we have Commercial Sign in 5… 4… 3…
>"Why? What are you going to do?" K9999 said. "I'll be as insultive as I please."
>The voice behind K9999 then shouted. "HEY EVERYONE! THIS GUY OVER HERE JUST INSULTED IORI YAGAMI, AND CALLED HIM A HAS->BEEN!"
Diana: Yeah. Iori is more of a Never Was.
Clover: Ouch…
>K9999 only had time to look up, before the masses of fangirls descended upon him, unleashing there wrath.
>The mysterious person looked at Angel, saying "Shall we go?"
>"Let's go" Angel said, smiling. The two walked off, while the mysterious person started singing Creed's "One Last Breath" to himself.
Sam:<heavy sarcasm> Oh, good. I was *dying* to hear more about the author’s musical tastes.
>Sorry
for taking so long. This was written to "One Last Breath" by Creed
Clover: Nooooo? Really?
<The girls exit the theater>
**
<Sam, Alex and Clover exit the theater and return to the bridge. Diana is nowhere to be seen>
Sam: Well, that was certainly one of our longer voyages through the world of fanfiction.
Alex: Yeah. I take back every bad thing I said about ‘Nadesico Needs Cooks’.
Sam:<surpised> Really?
Alex:<after a moment> Actually, no. That one still sucked.
Clover:
What-EVER…<looking around> Hey, where’s
Sam:<shrugs> Probably getting dressed. Why?
Clover: I dunno. She’s just such a goody-goody smarty pants. She’s so…
Alex:
Sam-like?
Clover: Exactly.
Sam: HEY!
Clover: Face it, Sam. You can be such a know-it-all.
Sam: Since when is being smart a *bad* thing? In case you’ve forgotten, Clover, we’re *spies*. Being smart is part of the job.
<Diana walks in, back in her trademark jeans and sweatshirt>
Diana: Well, for *some* of them anyway. My brother makes a practice out of hare-brained theories and ludicrous guesswork.
Clover: In other words, Alex-like.
Alex: HEY!!
Diana:<shrugs> And I happen to like being smart and I’m not afraid to show it.
Sam: Well, either way, I’m just glad the fanfic is over.
Diana: It could have been worse. I mean, it was a pretty imaginative and original idea.
Alex: What-EVER! I mean, what was with the author’s whole wish fulfillment cameo crap?
Clover: And K9999’s Aura of Invisibility…
Sam: Not to mention the hideous thoughts of Choi/Whip mushiness.
<They all shudder>
Diana: Well… at least he didn’t finish it, so we didn’t need to read the whole story?
<Pause>
Sam: You know… she’s right.
Alex: Works for me.
Clover: Whatever… <she presses the button>
\ |
/
\ |
/
\ | /
\ | /
\ | /
\|/
-------FWOOOOSH!!-------
/|\
/ | \
/ | \
/ | \
/ |
\
/ |
\
Alex: Though I could’ve done without that image of Ralf in
a dress.
Others: ALEX!!
Alex: What?!
THE REAL END
(The “Totally Spies” closing theme plays)
Starring The Voices Of:
Jennifer
Hale as Sam/Magic Voice
Andrea
Taylor as Clover
Katie
Leigh as Alex
and
Kelly Sheridan as Diana Lombard
with
Jess
Harnell as Jerry
**
[CARDCAPTOR SCHLUETER’S NOTES]
Well, months after I originally started it, Episode 6 of TST3K has come to a close. I’m a little surprised that lately my e-mails concerning MSTings (which are fewer than there used to be, I must admit) tend to be more about TST3K than CCST3K. Episode 5 in particular generated a fairly long correspondence concerning Diana Lombard and the differences between her TV incarnation and the original character from Castelli’s comics. Maybe it’s just me, but I actually kinda like the TV version better. >.>
Those who pay attention to the voice cast credits of TST3K may recognize the name of Kelly Sheridan, the voice of Diana. Well, maybe not the name, but if you heard the voice you’d probably know it, especially if you’ve ever seen the dubbed versions of Ranma or Inuyasha (Kelly was the voice of Ukyou and Sango respectively). My ongoing interest in who voices who sometimes even pops up in unlikely places. A few months back I got a copy of “La Pucelle Tactics” for PS2 and the heroine, Priere sounded disturbingly like Sam from ‘Totally Spies’. It turns out that Priere’s English voice was indeed provided by none other than Jennifer Hale. Go figure.
So, just some added trivia for all of you.
As always, I’d love to hear from you guys, but be sure you send all your e-mails to: cardcaptorschlueter@gmail.com since my fancol.com account no longer exists.
Until next time,
-CardCaptor Schlueter (aka Syaoran-kun)
**
Season One:
1) The Brain From Planet Arous-A Ranma ½ Fic By Ryoucilo
2) The Mike Rhea Anthology-Ranma ½ Fics By Mike Rhea
(Loves Me, Loves Me Not/ Akane Gets Drained/ Konatsu’s First Kiss)
3) Neon Ranma Evangelion-A Ranma ½ /Neon Genesis Evangelion Fic By Khyron Kingkiller
4) Good Bye Sweet Li (Part 1)-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Lady Yuy
5) Stolen-A Magic Knight Rayearth Fic By hikaru shidou
6) Good Bye Sweet Li (Part 2)-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Lady Yuy
7) The True Power Of Love-A Card Captor Sakura Fic By poshul
8) Marco Polo-A Magic Knight Rayearth Fic By hikaru shidou
9)
10) Is It Reality Or Just A Trick?-A Sailor Moon Fic By Dr. Thinker
Season
Two:
11) The Next Generation-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By JimAndZazu
12) Caught In The Act-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Second Sailor Destiny
13) The Shadow Leaders-A Sailor Moon Fic By Dr. Thinker
14) Shinji’s Alter-Ego-A Neon Genesis Evangelion Fic By John82
15) Sailor Jupiter Vs. Godzilla-A Sailor Moon Fic By Flashman (Christian A. Rogers)
16)
17) No Need For CardCaptors-A Tenchi Muyo/Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Christina Horton
18)
19) Mother, May I [Take Over The World]-A Pokemon Fic By Mallet Boy
20) Syaoran: Romeo… Not Really-A Card Captor Sakura Fic By Golden Eyed Dragon
Season Three:
21) Harry Potter And the Pantie Raiders-A Harry Potter Fic By Ice Blue X
22) The Unforgettable Promise-A Love Hina Fic By KenshinRC
23) To Find My Dad And Have A Family-A Card Captor Sakura Fic By MoshiMoshiQueen
24) Revolutionary Girl Asuka-A Neon Genesis Evangelion/Shoujo Kakumei Utena Fic By Joyce K. Wakabayashi
25) A Dream Come True-A CardCaptor Sakura Fic By Crystalina Rhapsody Draco
26) The Only Constant-A Star Trek: The Next Generation Fic By Stephen Ratliff
27) The Lionel Dark Anthology-Card Captor Sakura(CardCaptors)/Lord Of The Rings Fics By Lionel Dark
(Signs That Say You’re Like Lionel Dark/ More Signs The You’re Like Elle/ The Scythe Carrier)
28) The Ranma ½ Cast Does CCS-A Ranma ½/CardCaptor Sakura Fic By Matthew Cline
29) Megamon X-A Pokemon/Megaman X Fic By Brock Shale
30) Hotaru Goes To Hogwarts-A Sailor Moon/Harry Potter Fic By Saturn Angels
Season Four:
31) The Bubblehead, The Jerk And The High School-A Sailor Moon/Gundam Wing Fic By Jayde Summers
(w/ short True Search-A Shoujo Kakumei Utena Fic By SparkleOfEnergyHeidi)
32) Find You Again-A Vision Of Escaflowne Fic By winged angel
33) The XXX Files-A Shoujo Kakumei Utena Fic By Reanna R. King
34) First Release-A CardCaptor Sakura/Ranma ½ Fic By Wishbringer
35) Bubblegum Card-Ep. 3.1415-A Bubblegum Crisis/X-Men Fic By Kris Overstreet
36) The Black Hole-A Pokemon Fic By Dr. Thinker
37) If You Only Knew-An Angelic Layer Fic By LRPLI Little Rabbit
(w/ short Teaching Aeris-A Final Fantasy VII Fic By Sirius Dogstar)
38) Asuka Vs. Godzilla-A Neon Genesis Evangelion Fic By Austin Covello
39) Sakura’s Story-A Street Fighter Alpha Fic By RanmaSolo1
40) Nadesico: A New Ally-A Martian Successor Nadesico Fic By Genro
Season Five:
41) Lunar: Silver Star Story-CCS Style-A CardCaptor Sakura/Lunar: Silver Star Story Fic By Manda-chan
Deep Fried SPAM:
1) Why Not Make A Little Money While Surfing The Net
2) Now Offering For Your “Sensitive” Delight… New And Improved!
3) Why RPGs Should Be Severely Censored And Devoid Of Character Development
Specials:
-Christmas Special-Under The Mistletoe/Tsubasa Gets What He Deserves-Ranma ½ Fics By Mike Rhea
-Summaries Of Suffering Vol. 1-A CCST3K Spin-off By Ciircee and Chelle-Sama
-Summaries Of Suffering Vol. 2-A CCST3K Spin-off By Ciircee and Chelle-Sama
-X-01: The Beginning-A Manga Translation By Tonghyun “Vajra” Kim and Edited By Iain Sinclair (MSTed with April Hamilton)
Other MSTings:
Totally Spies Theater 3000:
Season One:
1)
What If Meowth Was
A Girl?-A Pokemon Fic By Dr. Thinker
2)
Sailor Trigger-A Sailor Moon/Chrono Trigger Fic By Sailor Koban
(w/ short BB Hood’s Rampage-A DarkStalkers
Fic By FlamingSmileyFace)
3)
Believe-A Street Fighter Fic By Blackjack Gabianni
4)
5)
Nadesico Needs
Cooks!-A Martian Successor Nadesico Fic By
6)
Blind Date-A King of Fighters Fic By The Unknown1
The CCST3K Magical MSTery Mini-Series
Collection:
Li Clan Chronicles:
1) Obsession
(Part 1)-A CardCaptor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Second Sailor Destiny
Dead Or Alive: Xtreme Fanfic MSTing:
1)
Megaman Legends Trilogy-A Megaman Legends/Misadventures of Tron Bonne
Fic By Ian Jenkins
>"Angel?"
>
>"Ran off with some fanfic author. Someone called The Unknown1"
Mystery Science Theater 3000
and its related characters and situations
are trademarks of and (c)
2005 by Best Brains, Inc. All rights
reserved.
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